I started this blog with intentions of working on it every day and posting at least once a week. Things don’t always go as planned (pretty much never do in my life) so I will just catch you up on what we have been up to!!
Maybe you don’t care, it’s cool! Whatevs..
Some images from the past few weeks.
In these past few weeks we took a trip to Eckerts to go apple picking, fostered a dog for just a day, and have worked on quite a few collabs.
Yes, I’m sure we’ve done much more but if you don’t know already you’ll find out I have terrible memory. That’s where all my photos I take come in handy!
Our apple picking trip was a success coming home with some adorable family pictures (thanks to my amazing SO for helping get pictures) and some juicy Jonathon apples! Those seem to be our favorite as both years we’ve picked them and they’re all amazing.
Our next adventure will surely be a pumpkin patch trip. Who else is pumped to go pumpkin picking?!
Work Work Work.
I have been blessed with a very busy couple of work weeks! Photography is my absolute dream job and I get so excited with each shoot but it still takes a lot out of me.
Having anxiety makes working any job difficult. You second guess every little thing you say or do and when delivering images I practically hold my breath until I get a response. Questioning whether I’ve done a good enough job, I spend every moment in between the sessions and delivering the images stressing… I could be the worlds greatest photographer (far from that) and still question myself! I absolutely love the compliments and they make me feel wonderful but they don’t make that anxiety go away. I’m ok with dealing with it though to do what I love and to see the wonderful reactions I get most of the time.
With art there is no right or wrong way to do things. You get the clear images instead of blurry, sure, but outside of that it’s up you what looks good. There is always that chance someone disagrees. After all, it’s always opinion based with art.
Combine art with real people and their opinions and it’s terrifying.
I’m not a landscape photographer, nor do I want to be, so there are almost always people in my images. To me backgrounds and scenes aren’t as special without the people in it! Or animals of course!
I will handle the occasional criticism to continue capturing special moments.
Mental Health Chat
Sorry if I chat too much about anxiety and depression as it isn’t such a joyful topic but it is unfortunately a huge part of my life.
Saying it is a huge part of my life doesn’t mean I let it control me. There are certain days that it effects me more than others but it will always be there! To try and act like it doesn’t effect me every day would just be lying to myself.
These past two weeks have been tough. I have a messy home, work unfinished and haven’t written in longer that I had planned. This is one of the times that it’s effecting me more than I would like but I am working at it without pushing myself too harshly. So bare with me!
As I’m writing this I would rather be sitting watching some lame sappy Netflix movie. When I let my anxiety and depression control me it just takes me deeper down that dark hole. I won’t let myself stay in my home, sit and not be productive or ignore people for too long. However, I do take my moments because it can be necessary to block everything out from time to time but it can become unhealthy if you don’t set a certain time for those things and then return back to reality.
A struggle I have alot lately is texting back or even responding to clients in a timely manner. After long days or stressful moments my brain no longer can socialize. I promise to get back to you as soon as it calms down and I can make sense!!
So many stuggle with mental illness. Never be afriad to reach out to me to talk about your struggles no matter what they may be. I will always be here to listen!
To sum it up..
We’ve been busy but that isn’t what has kept me from writing. I’m battling my own demons and will continue fighting to hopefully be there for others who also struggle.
I want to show you all the real in life and not just the happy moments shown on social media! Trust me my life isn’t full of aesthetic moments where my house is clean and Grace is happy and sunshiney!
I appreciate you all so much.
Love, The Messy Mama