Full disclosure: This birth story is raw emotional and could be hard for some to read. Please take caution. This may not be for everyone to read.
This story is long overdue given that my little one isn’t so little anymore but, I would love to share this experience with you all.
Grace’s birth story is not ordinary. I don’t want it to scare anyone who is currently pregnant or planning a pregnancy. This is a very rare circumstance that was not something that had happened in the hospital before. Use this as a caution and education to speak up about any worries or discomfort you may have in the delivery room.
My pregnancy went amazing apart from morning sickness in the first trimester! I had a perfect healthy baby growing inside me constantly reminding me she was there with ninja kicks… I never had many worries of how the birth would go and being that I was 17 I wasn’t very educated either. My concerns were:
What will her name be? What outfit will I put her in first? Who will come in the delivery room with me?
Little did I know no one would even be in the delivery room with me…Also… I don’t even remember what she wore first!
May 23rd was my due date and my brother who is in the air force was in town for that week. Being that babies don’t follow a schedule I worried she would get here after he left and wouldn’t be able to meet her.
The 23rd came and I called my OB that afternoon to ask about being induced. It was hard to believe that I could decide when she came. So when he agreed to start the induction the next evening I panicked. There was 24 hours to get my s*** together and I had nothing ready. I was moving to my moms after having my baby and I hadn’t even began packing my things.
That evening I called everyone that I wanted to be at the hospital and got everything packed and ready to go.
The next day was full of a million emotions. I don’t think there was a moment of peace in my mind.
My mom and I got some running around done for last minute essentials. Then we had an amazing steak dinner before going to the hospital where I would starve for the next 24-48 hours.
On May 24th, 2014 I would spend my first of many nights in the hospital. We walked to our room in L&D and immediately had to strip down and put on one of their oh so breezy hospital gowns. We sign multiple papers and I get hooked up to machines and IVs. The labor wouldn’t start until that evening. I received my Pitocin and tried to get comfortable to sleep as much as possible before the contractions started.
With nurses checking, and the contractions starting I didn’t get much sleep.
Around 10:00am my contractions are getting stronger and it isn’t long before they offer the epidural which I GLADLY took up on. Finally I am comfortable and feel amazing after being in pain all night. I am checked over again and am still only 6 cm dilated but they brake my water and I finally take a much needed nap.
I woke up to get checked again and am finally 10 cm dilated! The only issue was that she wasn’t low enough. Despite her being high we began practice pushes and she didn’t budge. I sat back and relaxed for a minute before nurses started coming in worried about Grace’s heart rate.
They went to chat with the doctor and I began to feel a sharp pain in my side. My mom pressed the button on my epidural to numb me more and it wasn’t helping. I felt the sharp pain growing stronger.
Where it all Went Wrong
My doctor came in mentioning the possibility of a C-section… Right then my daughters heart stopped. I didn’t have time to panic at the thought of a surgery.
They begin rolling me side to side and when it isn’t helping they drop me back on to my back and suddenly I felt my insides tear in half… I couldn’t breath. None of the doctors or nurses knew what had happened.
My dad saw blood dripping down my leg and ripped all the cords from the machines off my body before him and a nurse ran me down the hall.
It felt like I was in a dramatic tv show where they’re running a hospital bed down the hall screaming. Only, this wasn’t a TV show, and my dad was in control due to nurses not taking him seriously.
My dad saved my life.
Suffocating and going in and out of consciousness… Only knowing I was dying and in my head I was excepting it… I didn’t have time to cry or scream in pain. I moan out the only air I am capable of breathing in and lay there staring as people around me were telling me things I wasn’t able to comprehend.
They brought me into an incredibly bright room where they grabbed my limp body and placed it on a hard surgical bed. Within seconds they cut me open and blood pooled onto the floor.
With one single cut my daughters lifeless body was out and they took her.
They finally saw what had happened after reaching in causing my whole body to rock around on the bed.
My uterus had ripped in half and I felt all of it…
My uterus tearing filled my body with blood causing me to suffocate. With blood escaping my body I could finally breath but I couldn’t think. Not worrying about my daughter or what was going on, I only stared blankly at the ceiling waiting for it to be over.
I woke up with blood all over and a nurse on the ground who had slipped in it and couldn’t get back up. Giggling from the medicine, I ask if the nurse is ok.
With a hallway of my family beside me as I get rolled back to my room I am finally reassured that Grace is ok.
I got to hold her for just a moment before the medication made me fall asleep.
After my blood transfusion and a TON of grape popsicles that made my lips black I finally was able to truly meet her.
I was in the hospital for 4 exhausting days before we could finally go home. Couldn’t wait to finally feel like myself again.
I am so thankful for my mom for helping me through the horror that was her birth and helping so much during that first week of recovery.
Now I am a mom to a beautiful, intelligent and healthy 5 year old little girl and I don’t know what I would do without her.
I would do it all over again a million times for her.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck around and read our stories. I can’t wait to share more with you all!
Love, Alex (The Messy Mama)
PS- I would LOVE to hear all your stories as well!